Joan Smith - If the Blizzard's in Me

from The Bane Voice Mixtape! by Various Bane Voice Performers

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lyrics

i daydream about getting up
for another cup of coffee,
but i can't.
i know they said to watch out for
when you can't do your own laundry,
and i remember that.
and i know that i quit smoking cause
i ran out of unanswered questions, but
the answers have been getting to me.

i don't have the strength to pick my feet up
or turn the key in the door.
i am melting on the carpet
cause i sure as hell can't more forward.

if the blizzard's outside,
i'll be at the window
if the blizzard's in me, well...

after all this time,
my heart beating against the sheets in my bed
is enough for me
to finally arrive
at this decision to stand up
for myself without saying sorry...

i was frozen for a long time,
standing in the same spot
next to the door that might as well have been locked,
trying to stay as far away from relapse as i could get
thinking it all was my fault
until i saw a mark i had carved in a circle
i'd been round once before,
seeming to say: "this is where i take my leap of faith"

and after all this time,
my heart beating against the sheets in my bed
is enough for me
to finally arrive
at this decision to stand up
for myself without saying sorry.

this second time,
the lump in my throat
will convince me to take my own advice
and get myself out of this house fire burning
up the memories that stop me
when i think i'm ready to let go

credits

from The Bane Voice Mixtape!, released May 10, 2014

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about

The Michael Character Boston, Massachusetts

It's political music, whatever. Based in Boston, MA. Absolutely willing to drive very far to play for you and five of your vaguely alternative friends in your combination kitchen/laundry room. Hit me up. I'm fully serious.

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