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That's Why They Call Him Zachy!

by The Michael Character

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katiekatkatkat
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katiekatkatkat This started out as my distancing soundtrack cause of "Toronto" but now The Bagel Shop is my best friend. The first 10 times I heard The Micheal Character I went neat. Then my dear roommate introduced me to the character Micheal. Now I get it. Now I go "NICE!" I also appreciate the backstory on why they call him Zachy. But really truly this album is a pillar to overplay when you set it as repeat for a day, or a special treat to keep in your back pocket. Favorite track: The Bagel Shop.
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1.
Fuckheads of the world unite; Defend your credibility ‘till you feel Alt-Right Tell me more about your Freedom How it’s leaving Now you’re seething, yea… You want to have the right to be an asshole Without the repercussions that accompany the trash you talk But I’m not here to validate you. Complain about the Snowflakes Like a person pointing out a problem makes life hard for you So plug your ears when a queer kid talks Tell me again how it’s good Arpaio got let off… …Are you kidding? Was that a funny? If I want to see a fucking racist I’ll just look at the MONEY We don’t have time for you. Oh we hate the government, they’re a burden Except for the instruments of coercion! You’ve got to love that Thin Blue Line Between the savage and the civilized. Imprison the former; you’ll enrich the latter Baptize your kids in the black blood you splatter Nixonian Law & Order Fill the prisons and close the border. I’ve got a bone to pick with folks who don’t see eye to eye With other people who they’re told they’re not supposed to like A shit conception of your problems that pins all the blame On simple, honest folks who try to make the world humane. It’s not a violation of your rights for someone else To make historically denied space open for themselves It’s not undemocratic to let your community Determine the parameters of socially accepted speech. The violence in our politics relies on historical fictions to validate it— If you think we should tolerate White nationalists in our public space You probably think the Civil War was fought primarily over the rights of states… …And you’d be wrong.
2.
Toronto 02:37
Health isn’t a joke. No one laughed in my hotel room in Toronto. Panic-smoking by a church Message Lou in the states Plug the levy for a moment, holding back the wave’s break. Make it normal fetishizing my neuroses All charming Woody Allen quirks, it’s all so funny! I’m freaking out at the car next to me en route to the highway interchange So how will I cope when faced with real shit? Student shushed me; I lost my cool. I snapped a pencil that I lent her like “Now who’s cool?” A funny reputation That guy’s a little crazy But oh, No one laughed in my hotel room in Toronto. I was scared I’d slip away.
3.
It’s pollen season again The landscaping people are chopping of the heads Of the dandelions and the lesser weeds And into my open windows a spring breeze The season of sneezes again I’ve got an allergy headache and I forgot my Claritin The view from this classroom is great in all seasons There’s something to love even when it is freezing But as the new condos rise off in the distance As development money is borrowed ham-fistedly By this growing city The kids all say goodbye; they go out and start their lives And I’ll still be here sneezing When they cut the weeds on the first day of spring Yea I’ll be looking at the new Y(MCA) building ‘Till it becomes the old Y building Me chilling out in my rented apartment 4,000 roommates to keep down the costs I’ll make jokes about how I could have been something Then sit at my desk staring straight at the wall ahead Until retirement And then until death.
4.
I saw a friend in the bagel shop today They asked me how my day was looking I said, “another one in paradise!” They smiled politely It sounds like a phrase a sane person would say Then I tried to smile normally and then looked away That could have gone weirder, let’s call it a victory?...
5.
This road is now called Kahekili Highway But once it was just the road Through the bustle of Wailuku Past Takamiya Market // plate lunch // Korean short ribs Through communities whose roots are sugar cane sweet Whose deeded land passed down through time from broken backed farm hands who did better for their families Past the newer housing developments To the old quarter To Waihee The road to Waihee To Great Uncle’s one-story concrete block // corrugated tin roof // noni and avocado trees backyard neighbors chickens clucking // hang dry the laundry // drive to town to meet the meals on wheels truck // last of his generation // home Two blocks down // the thicket that was the family store And back towards Wailuku, on the left, past the baseball field or maybe shortly before it The Chinese Cemetery Tiny, jagged tooth headstones, a bed of bent nails for the long dead to rest under // half-collapsed red awning in the visitor area, right on the benches! // no visitors now Where are your kin? Are they late? Did they swing by Tasty Crust for a bowl of saimin before bringing the garden sheers and flowers and water bottle, to wash and tend to each grave with stoic ancestral obligation // set them each aright // bow their heads in silence // mutter // rip a hole in time and wave to a lost Great Uncle before packing up and heading back toward town // to the market // before returning home // be back soon? Are they with you down there, too? Where did they go? When I was a kid, Cousin Sandra had to fly to Oahu to go to Home Depot Today things are different. Puunene plantation closed its doors and the last cane crop waves cheerily, unharvested in the fields for miles around the growing airport; but the yoga studios are still here. Or rather, are here now. Angry young Haoles blow past me with resentment for Orientals on their intoxicant breath And I treat myself to an expensive dinner in Lahaina A restaurant for the tourists Just a visitor Of foreign birth On soil that is not mine Thinking Will I pull up weeds at Great Uncle’s grave? Mend the awning? Straighten the headstone teeth? Or will some wayward mainland transplant // here for paradise, for the air // clutching at the exotic // getting to know the locals // walk by Great Uncle’s modest plot in some forgotten Japanese cemetery // on land so long ago chosen to house the dead that no living even claim to own it anymore // a community of the departed as old as the plantations // and wonder “How long has this been abandoned? Where are their kin? Where did they go?”
6.
Free speech nerds Are gonna catch a big loogie in their ignorant eyes When they see me coming down the hallway On my way to the past to prove a point about why The people who whine about ‘political correctness’ Are willfully ignoring history’s important lessons like— The Enlightenment-era notion of ‘universal rights’ Was conceptualized right alongside The individual agent in the context of the nation-state And as such the universal has been constructed from And exclusive philosophical subject which has never included everyone… Cause the colonized Indigenous Enslaved And stateless peoples Have long been barred from the benefit of personhood as equals So when, when, when, when, when Were these better times When everyone could speak their mind Without fear of repercussion? Oh, I don’t think that you know what you’re talking about… Exhibit A: Back in 1868 a guy named Edward Pollard Wrote a book (The Lost Cause Regained) in which he posited The most important problem of his day Was to determine if black folks were real people Or a sort of lower order (‘cause sub-humans can’t be equal) He called racial equality a “violent experiment against nature” Don’t care if Freddy Douglass never did debate him I’m not sure how free your speech can be When you have to waste your time asserting your basic humanity Against what racist pricks believe Against transmisogyny Against the rampant and dehumanizing stigma of poverty (yea) Still today all David Starkey wants to do Is exercise his freedom to call all Muslim people atavistic throwbacks Even as he panders to a backward xenophobic kind of evil What a dick Fuck David Starkey Civilizational hierarchy of culture? Man, I’ve heard that one before— From Richard Pratt to Gavin McInnes The same old bullshit The same prejudices “Kill the Indian in him and save the man” or ‘Muslim countries are 500 years in the past’ This quote unquote “Western Chauvinism” Is just recycled white supremacy Isn’t it? So free speech nerd You can debate Richard Spencer all day If you damn well please But I’ll be on the beach Pissing in both your mouths Yellowing all your teeth, man! So now— Peter Hitchens and Steven Pinker Are sure that PC kids threaten all free thinkers Complain at Oxford Union that they get afraid to speak While a black kid in an all-white class spends every day knowing that Everybody in the room is gonna hold their breath and see ‘Maybe we can get through this lesson about… Slavery Black Codes Sharecropping Convict Leasing Jim Crow Redlining Cointelpro Without a peep from you.’ ‘Then maybe we can get through this lesson about MLK With just a little peep from (you).’
7.
The Department of Agriculture Feeds more people everyday Than your anarcho-communist pamphleteering Ever will. And that’s just a fact. But what do we do about that? What do we do about that?
8.
Stay 02:53
Everything’s going fine Not much variance from year-to-year I’m an aggregate of modest improvements A patchwork I hope looks sincere I’ve got my Labor Day sale Macy’s suits I’ve got my $3,000 brace-less smile I’ve got a comfortable bed to come home to I’ve got some time; we could hang for a while. The train runs ‘till midnight Or maybe 12:30am We could probably make it If we run straight to Park Street. I used to wander around downtown at night When I was just 18 Alone in my cargo pants And my loose-fitting ska band tees. I still love the light from these streetlamps Amber and lovely The chill of a cool breeze Wet sidewalk and canvas sneaks. I tasted freedom in a late-night drive to a diner in Philly Connor’s cousin was the head chef And he made this fancy fucking mac & cheese. Underage drinks and triple parking Making out on a flat modern sculpture A summer fling A autumn heartbreak A college song A new apartment. Everything’s going fine Not much variance from day-to-day I still hurt folks with my indecision I’m still basically selfish I’d say Still chasing the high of a late-night drive But the thrill has gone away. If 10,000 miles in five weeks won’t cut it then I’d say I’d rather stay. I don’t want career change I’d rather stay I don’t want to chase fame I’d rather stay I don’t want to move to Philly I’d rather stay I don’t want to lose you, baby I’d rather stay.
9.
28 03:55
Neat gin; the cheap shit Miscue at the solo table Go home early, get home late I’m freakin’ No reason Making breakfast weird, man I’m sorry to harsh your vibe. Nothing’s felt right since last June I’m sitting in the same chair Working at the same school I see the same people exactly like I used to So why can’t I crack a fucking smile when I should do? Ten months later I feel better— Forward, out the door go Ten months later Washed up on the beach Heartrate steady, breathing normal. I feel fine about my future Still got a past to figure out But I’ve got an act to get together To be useful now. Still I wanna go back I’ll be 26 Back when I gave a shit about the quality of the gig. Used to believe I was gonna get a doctorate Now I can’t write for shit, I’m imposter-ing. Moonlight over the Wash n’ Dry Gonna wait out the rest of my cycle Like I’m gonna wait out the rest of my life— Staring at a glass screen Posture like a bread line father in the ‘30s. Now I wonder why it’s hard to say This is exactly what I asked for But I’m not sure I’m happy that I have it. So Peter got the condo in Colorado And Lou, he fell in love And all the hype bands got written up In the taste-making blogs where the writing sucks Yea, the writing sucks I’m not jealous, oh… But Wendy says that time is just a context So it’s not too late. No use lamenting an unchecked box at 28. I’ve got a full-moon face; Tomorrow I’ll wane But not before a new day Of staring at a glass screen Posture like I know Exactly Where I Could Be.

about

This, the 10th TMC record, is a collection of songs written between August of 2017 and July of 2018. It is the product of a *mostly* very bad year, personally and otherwise, but also of the year when I started playing pool, so it's really not all bad. This one's for Zachy.

Edit: To be clear, things are now very, very dope. The bad year is long over, and this is just a *record* of it. Get it? Double meaning? Record as in music and record as in like, record? Pretty good, pretty good. I’m a writer.

credits

released September 27, 2018

All songs written by James Ikeda

Recorded, Produced, Mixed, & Mastered by Benjamin Greer of Sun Brewed Records & State Forest

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The Band…
Guitar & Vocals — James Ikeda
Drums — Larz Brogan
Bass Guitar — Michael “Two Tacos” Geacone
Lead Guitar — Matt “Hey, Come On” O’Connor

Also Featuring…
Guitar & Bass on The Bagel Shop — Ben Greer
Clarinet on The Bagel Shop — Sydney Smith
Flute on The Bagel Shop — Jonathan Garcia
Soundscape on The Chinese Cemetery – Crystal Bi
Poolhall Samples — Recorded by Matt Vuchichevich

MAJOR thanks to Greg & Chelsea at Dollhouse Lightning for putting this record out on Cassette!

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Drums, Bass, & Electric Guitars recorded at Pink Noise Studios in Somerville, MA by Dan Thorn

Vocals & Acoustic Guitar recorded at an AirBNB in Brandon, VT

Miscellaneous stuff recorded in Ben’s old apartment (which he doesn’t respect)

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Special Thanks to Christine for reviewing the record!!

Continued Special Thanks to Flat Top Johnny's (and all the homies there), Allston Billiards (and my fake dad who runs it), the Wheelhouse Diner (#3 w/cheese, marble rye toast & a side of beans), Allston Diner (10 Dighton tofu scramble w/ bbq seitan), Steve's (two eggs over easy, home fries, dark rye, and one slice of the giant french toast), Refuge Cafe (RIP), Athan's in Brighton Center, Cafe Fixe, and, of course, ZACHY TWEED. Did it all for you, Zachy.

Zero thanks to whoever is responsible for Otto completely removing garlic cloves from their menu. Pizza will never be the same, in a bad way.

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The Michael Character Boston, Massachusetts

It's political music, whatever. Based in Boston, MA. Absolutely willing to drive very far to play for you and five of your vaguely alternative friends in your combination kitchen/laundry room. Hit me up. I'm fully serious.

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